


This Frustrating Need (To Protect You)

by heart_full_of_magic



Category: Fate: The Winx Saga (TV)
Genre: (is slowburn possible in a oneshot?), Angst, Arguing, Concern, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hugs, Light Angst, Pining, Protective Saul Silva, Romance, Silrah - Freeform, Sweetness, add-on, fluffy at the end, here we go again, mostly Saul POV, not many spoilers, slowburn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:48:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29014623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heart_full_of_magic/pseuds/heart_full_of_magic
Summary: “You should have brought it back here and then killed it.”An add-on to the end of episode 1. Farah and Saul had been through hell and back together, and neither of them were afraid to take risks. That became problematic when a certain Specialist found out that Farah had gone to fight a Burned One all on her own.
Relationships: Farah Dowling/Saul Silva, Silrah - Relationship
Comments: 39
Kudos: 150





	This Frustrating Need (To Protect You)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i'm back again with our Specialist and his fairy. 
> 
> this sort of ended up... happening. i started, then stopped at 200 words, then i was suddenly at 2,000. i'm fully onboard the ship train now... personally i just want to take my time developing it. maybe i should make a oneshot book....
> 
> i want to dedicate this to @MissMoonshine and @weebutwicked, authors that have written incredible things for this fandom and that have continued to inspire me to write! so thank you both, really <3
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

“All I’ve ever wanted to do is protect them.” 

Her breaths fogged up the window as she stood in front of it, arms tucked tightly at her sides. Her eyes had misted over, staring blankly into the forest outside the barrier as she continued speaking to Saul, who hadn’t moved from his place since entering her office. He’d mentioned the looming chaos that threatened to upend their recent peace, and seemed keen to discuss it further. But Farah just stared outside, feeling the weariness seep into her. She’d had a long day. She needed a drink.

“Why did you go out there alone?” Saul asked as she turned, straightening up. She saw a fierceness in his eyes, not quite anger, but he clearly didn’t approve of her actions. Farah just raised an eyebrow at him, moving towards her desks.

“We’re not done talking about this, Farah.” Saul raised an eyebrow as she walked over to the liquor cabinet. “I want to know why you didn’t tell me about all this until now.” She knelt down to retrieve some whiskey and two glasses before returning to sit on one of her armchairs. Without a word, Farah poured them both a drink and leaned back, closing her eyes and resting her head on the back of the chair.

He took a moment to look at her, his breath catching as the moonlight illuminated her face, outlining the curve of her lips and the perfectly placed strands of hair that he’d brushed back from her eyes so often. They’d been friends for nearly three and a half decades now, but with each passing day he thought she was more beautiful. Saul cleared his throat, grabbed his glass and sat in the armchair opposite her. Farah raised her head and caught his eye, and the kindness in them almost took Saul’s breath away a second time.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Saul.” She said quietly. “I hope… you can understand why I left immediately, can’t you?” She wanted him to know that she didn’t do it to be reckless-- she was driven by the overwhelming, almost primal need to help someone who meant a lot to her.

Once she’d heard that Bloom had taken Stella’s ring and left to find her parents, her heart had traveled all the way up to her throat and was lodged there until the redhead had safely returned to Alfea. She knew that the girl was reckless, that she wanted answers, but she never imagined that Bloom would go so far as to leave the grounds. Was it her fault? Maybe she should’ve been more honest with the fire fairy from the start… then she wouldn’t want to run away at the first chance she gets. 

Saul rubbed his eyes, sighing heavily. He took a sip of his whiskey before answering solemnly, “Farah… I’ll never fault you for doing what you think is right. You know that.” There was an implication there somewhere, it made her think of something many years ago, but she pushed it away as he continued. “But you know the threat we face. We know these monsters, they’re ruthless and-” He paused, hesitating. “If you had gotten hurt out there, and the students had brought you back… I don’t know what I’d do.” He’d lose it, quite honestly. A part of himself would shatter. He’d lost too many good soldiers, too many friends, _his father_ , to the Burned Ones. Through infections that made them go mad or terrible, literal gut-wrenching battles. 

It wasn’t something either of them wanted to live through again.

“I know, Saul. I should’ve… sent you a message, or let Ben know before I went, or-”

“At _least_. The very _least_ you could do.” Saul muttered into his glass. Farah raised an eyebrow at that, any sign of true sadness or remorse leaving her face. She straightened up in her seat, lowering her whiskey.

“And what’s that supposed to mean, exactly?” She asked, a stir in her chest telling her that this wouldn’t go very well. Both of them were exhausted, high-strung, and not in the right headspace to have a true discussion about feelings. “As if _you've_ always let me know when you’re going to be running off into danger?”

Saul scoffed, his frustration starting to get the better of him. “That was in the past, Farah. You know I always alert you when I leave, especially if I know I’m going to be encountering a monster.” He almost spat the last word out, the anxiety of the last few hours starting to get to him.

The anxiety. The pure, raw, _fear_ that had filled him once he’d heard that Farah had gone out to find Bloom by herself, where a Burned One was likely roaming. Once Ben (who’d heard from Terra) had told him, he was almost beside himself. It was bad enough that she hadn’t even thought to text him about it. But as deputy headmaster of Alfea, he had a duty to remain here whenever she left and hadn’t made any previous arrangements. So he couldn’t even go after her. While she was out there, alone, maybe even draining herself in an attempt to save the young fairy, he was sitting here. Useless. And she hadn’t even told him.

Farah’s eyes narrowed. “You know damn well that Bloom and the other girls could’ve been seriously hurt had I not gotten there in time. I had no time to waste, and it was even difficult to pinpoint their location. If I’d gone to get you-”

“Then at least you were all guaranteed to survive! There was no telling if there would be one Burned One, two, or any other bloody enemies around!” He pushed himself off the armchair, taking the last swig of his whiskey and running a hand through his hair. 

“That’s not fair, Saul. Let me remind you, I’m a powerful fairy-” Farah rolled her eyes as he spoke again.

“You’re still capable of _dying_ , Farah, and what if you had gotten scratched and the Burned One had gotten away? What would we have done then?” His tone was getting more desperate, begging her to understand why he was so worried. She wasn’t invincible, both of them knew that better than anyone else, and he didn’t want her jumping into battles without him when she had the chance to ask for help.

The mind fairy tried to control her breathing, feeling the familiar surge of anger and power bubble up in her. She didn’t want to explode, not now and not with Saul. “We know their hunting tactics, we could’ve at least gotten closer-”

Saul threw his hands up in an exasperated motion. “Bloody ridiculous. By then you might’ve been-”

“Stop interrupting me, damnit!”

Her eyes flashed a grey-blue, and her whiskey glass suddenly shattered in her hand. 

Farah stood still, shakily holding up her palm and watching a few zigzag cuts blossom in a thin red color. She suddenly felt the sting of pain, wincing a little. Saul, who’d been surprised at the loud noise, immediately made his way towards her.

“Let me see.” He said quietly, meeting her eyes with a look of remorse. She extended her hand towards him without hesitation, feeling a little sheepish. After determining that she wouldn’t need stitches, Saul went over to a small medical kit that he knew Farah had in her desk. Once a soldier, always a soldier-- it was good to be prepared. He took out a few cleaning wipes and a roll of bandages. When he turned, he found Farah had moved from the armchair to the couch, the glass already cleaned up.

(Sometimes, he wished he had the magic of telekinesis. It would make cleaning his room a lot easier.)

“What in Alfea can you be smiling about?” Farah asked him as he sat, a light, confused smile growing on her face. She couldn’t really help it… when he smiled, she smiled. “I didn’t really think that was funny… Rather childish, if I’m honest.” She added ruefully.

Saul just shook his head. “Just thinking about being a mind fairy… you know, telekinesis at all. Cleaning my room does take a while.” His dumb joke was worth it to see her smile turn into a genuine laugh. “And…” He paused just as he was about to start cleaning the cuts on her hand. They met eyes. “I’m sorry. What I said was… unnecessary.”

He gently dabbed the wipes onto her hand. The small flinches she couldn’t help but give (she hadn’t always been the best with open wounds) tugged at his heartstrings. They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, Saul taking extra care to bandage her hand as tenderly as possible. 

“Thank you,” Farah said quietly when he was done. “Saul…” The bandages were forgotten on a nearby coffee table as she gently pulled him into a hug. The Specialist was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around her tightly. They both stood there for a moment, hearing the quiet noises of the night outside and the beating of each other’s hearts. Farah squeezed him tightly for a moment before backing away and meeting his gaze. “I’m sorry. Really, I am.” 

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” Saul threw away the used wipes and joined her on the couch again, trying to subtly look over her again for any more wounds. From the Burned One or from the glass, not even he was sure.

“While I appreciate all this concern, I’m fine, Saul. It was just a few scratches.” The mind fairy smiled at him rather cheekily, nudging him with her elbow. He rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around her almost in an unconscious movement. She didn’t seem to mind.

“That’s not what I’m looking for, and you know it. Are you absolutely sure you didn’t get hurt while fighting?”

“Saul. Really.” She gave him a look, and he backed off for now. He gave a heavy sigh, staring at the empty fireplace in front of them. It wasn’t a cold night, by any means… or at least, not with her wrapped in his arms. After a quiet moment of thinking, Saul spoke up.

“I’m worried about you, Farah. I’m worried about… the students, and us, and…” He sighed, drawing her closer to him. She tucked her head into his chest, letting her shoulders relax. “I want to protect you all. But I’m afraid… I can’t.”

“We’ll make it through this, Saul.” She whispered, tracing mindless patterns on the palm of his hand that was wrapped around her. “I promise… I’ll tell you what’s going on. I wouldn’t want to face this without you.” He carefully took her bandaged hand and pressed a light kiss to the back of it. He’d done it before-- at dinner parties, when they were leaving for trips, after they’d come back from an especially hard battle. But this felt… different. It was a good kind of different, Farah decided. She closed her eyes, still curled up on the couch and leaning into him.

Saul remained awake, even as her breathing slowly evened out and her head felt heavy against him. He gently repositioned her so that she was leaning against his chest, and he was stretched out on the couch. Very softly, he pressed his lips to her hair. He would relish in this quiet moment, knowing that she was safely wrapped in his arms. Farah Dowling was a force to be reckoned with… he knew that. But he’d always wanted to protect her, even back when they had been in school and especially after they had formed a connection. She was powerful, and she was good, but she had an awful habit of losing herself when it came to helping others. But Saul would always be there to bring her back into his arms and make sure she knew she had a place to relax and rest. He was determined to be that for her. His loyalty was to Farah.

Hours before morning, they fell asleep on that couch, wrapped in each other and forever bonded. They wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> (can you tell i've discovered how to use italics?)


End file.
